Managing tantrums can be challenging for even the most patient parent. However, if you can gain co-operation from your toddler at least 50% of the time then you’re doing very well. One technique to assist co-operation is by helping your child learn to use words to identify and express their feelings using these 4 steps.
Step 1. STOP (calmly tell your child to stop and then ask…. see 2)
Step 2. What’s the problem? (check with them that you understand their problem as they see it)
Step 3. How do you feel about it? (ask them how they feel about the problem or prompt them by using feelings that you think match their body language such as words such as “cross and frustrated”, “sad” or “disappointed”.
Step 4. What do you want to happen? (ask them how they see the problem getting sorted out. What would they like to happen? What do you think as the parent is possible?).
If the outcome that your child hopes for is not possible let them know this in a firm but kind manner, also illustrating that you are aware of how they may feel about the decision that has been reached.
This approach to tantrums can help your child to slow down the process of emotional over reaction over time.
